Happy Birthday, Narcisse, from your boiling Frog
The premise is that if a frog is put suddenly into boiling water, it will jump out, but if the frog is put in tepid water which is then brought to a boil slowly, it will not perceive the danger and will be cooked to death.
I have one way to escape being boiled : I am leaving you. I love you.You love me. But I have to put and end to our love story. It reminds me of Marie MANCINI, niece of Mazarin, leaving King Louis XIV, le 22 juin 1659 « Vous m’aimez, vous êtes roi, vous pleurez, et je pars ! »
« Nothing but the best for you, for me and for us into the New Year » Your 2023 Happy New Year wishes came at midnight on Saturday. Respect for the tradition. Respect for me, not really, as I wanted so much to be with you in England. My « frog » condition was suddenly revealed to me: I am cooked to death. Slowly but surely, you are killing me « à petit feu ». What are your 2023 plans for us? Did you intend to keep me a prisoner with soft words and small presents, with more unkept promises? What about your intention of sharing your life with me ? Are we Ghost-lovers, Ghost-friends? Am I your online geisha? You love it when we are together but when we are apart « I love you but » …? Are you going to answer once more « Je ne sais pas » about our next meeting in real life?. Well, it’s not going to work anymore, the frog is jumping out.
Happy birthday ! You will never grow!
You were my king, my prince, my heroe, the fuel of my life, but « Je pars ».
I have to go in order to keep my sanity, my mental and physical health. When I first met you I was fit, in great shape, full of energy. And all I get is separation, sleepless nights, despair, and deep depression. I leave because there is nothing to be expected . You will never grow, and you will never make our love grow. I am leaving you after almost 3 years; and more than 500 mails and Chats. Not because you are incredibly selfish, all men are, not because you lie, all men do. I love most of your failures, I love your shouting, I love you maniac routine, I love so many things about you though I know I should not. You love my “sunny disposition” and my capacity to forgive : “face to face you are quite forgiving and understanding”. But you are not too good at apologies, Sorry seems a difficult word.
I will never know if you are a real narcisse, but you do have flying monkeys, your brothers and sisters and nieces, supporting your changing moods, refusals, last minute cancelling and other caprices. They do not consider your behaviour as rude or inappropriate or unkind. They applaud. « He likes to be controversial » they say. I call it insane. But the worst was the Christmas Curse.
The Christmas Curse
For some mysterious reason, you do not want to share the end of the year with me. In 2020, I could understand, because of Covid, there was a restricted number of people allowed to get together, and there could not be one more. I spent Christmas in France alone, sad, declining invitations. You called me and sent me your Christmas tree to share. Same process every year : you are determined NOT to spend Christmas with me. Not to spend New Year Eve with me. In 2022, no Covid, no border restrictions, I was sure we would be together and took an opportunity of an Eurostar promo, writing to you : « I intend to spend December in England ». I was in London, and we agreed to meet and there was this happy hug at the train station and one more almost happy week. This year 2022 was particularly painful since I was there, in your house, and you cheerfully let me go...You had one word to say : STAY to make me the happiest woman in the world. But you let me go, waving Bye.
Back inParis I got your « Happy Christmas mail ». What hurt me most is that you did not seem to enjoy your Christmas without me. And all your mails were fancying what we would have done if we had been together.
— « Christmas dinner was a Big bit of a disaster. »
— « I am heading for a boring drink at the pub then lunch. »
Having a drink with you at the pub was never “boring”, and was my idea of a Christmas day bliss. You can be so adorable in real life.
- “What was your gain spending Christmas alone, can’t you admit you made the wrong decision?” But …so British: “Never explain, never complain”.
The other Frog Story
The Frog agrees to transport the scorpion. Midway across the river, the scorpion stings the frog anyway, dooming them both. The dying frog asks the scorpion why it stung the frog despite knowing the consequence, to which the scorpion replies: “I couldn’t help it. It’s in my nature.”
I forgive, but you STING again, you strike again and again and again without really any reason. It’s in your nature.
Then I got the message in January 3 “Hello, how are you”? « I miss you »
-My answer : “I hesitate : are you senile or sadistic? Maybe both”.
Facing any negative situation you try to stay light at all cost. But « Cheers » ! “Smile” « I miss you » won’t work anymore. I won’t be the nice Frog forever. This insane foolish separation at Christmas and New year’s Eve went too far this time, a danger to my health and a loss of precious ocytocine excellent for both of us…Quel dommage !
